Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Andy Rooney had a birthday on Friday.  He turned 92 years old.  Andy asked that no one bring him birthday presents.  He's still trying to get last year's gifts open.

According to a report, 86 students are currently pregnant at a Memphis, Tennessee high school.  Boy, that sounds like a biology experiment gone wrong!

86 students are pregnant at a high school in Memphis.  And the father is a cousin to all of them.


Miss Nebraska was crowned Miss America on Saturday night.  She left immediately after the crowning.  She had to get up early Sunday morning to help Pa get the chores done before church.

Sarah Palin tuned in to the Miss America pageant when it was down to ten finalists.  Sarah was a little confused. She thought the U.S. had 15 states.


Remember the guy from Washington State who went on a potato only diet a few months ago?  Now he's been named by the National Potato Council as Potato Man of the Year.  Not because of the diet...but because they discovered he has eyes in the back of his head. 


Brett Favre has officially signed his NFL retirement papers.   Next to his signature he drew a penis with a smiley face.




Scientists warn that California is due for a savage winter "superstorm".  They say it could rain for 40 days and wipe out a quarter of the homes in California.  Boy, talk about a nasty way to foreclose.




Rain for 40 days!  Don't worry, California.  Surely there's a backlot somewhere in Hollywood that has an ark sitting around.


According to the Bible, you can bring one pair of animals on the ark.  So what's Charlie Sheen supposed to do with that third hooker?




When James Cameron heard that a superstorm could hit California, his first words were, "When can we start filming?"

Last night I remembered Martin Luther King by reading King's I Have a Dream speech.  I noticed that nowhere in that speech did he mention having a dream that some day some stiff-ass college professor would see fit to remove the word "nigger" from Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

....thanks for visiting and have a great day!

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Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Well, in just a few short days, Christine O'Donnell hopes to celebrate the biggest day of her life:  Halloween.

You know, that Christine O'Donnell is just not very bright.  When she heard the Texas Rangers were in the World Series, she asked someone, "Will Walker get to play?"

As you've probably heard, a judge in LA has ordered Lindsay Lohan back to rehab.  Doesn't that make it rerehab?

Former Iraqi foreign minister Tariq Aziz, has been sentenced to hang for crimes committed while he served under Sadaam Hussein.  He must have known this was coming because one of the big crimes he's charged with is buying up all the rope in Iraq and hiding it.

For once, someone besides Brett Favre is in the news for being hung.

By the way, Brett Favre told NFL officials that he did not send nude photos to a former female employee of the New York Jets, only voice mails.  I guess Brett figures a thousand words is worth one picture.


Did you know there's been a shortage of lethal injection drugs?   Some prisons in this country have had to actually cancel executions because of a lethal injection drug shortage.  And in the meantime, they've now run out of H1N1 vaccine because they used it up giving the death row inmates their flu shots.


California says it has received a new supply of lethal injection drugs but still can't use them because they don't know yet whether or not, under the new health care provisions, the injections are covered by Medicaid. 

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Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Brett Favre has set a record for most career fumbles.  That includes both on and off the field.


Favre also broke the NFL interception record.  That was after his photos and text messages were intercepted by the Jets.

As you know, Brett Favre allegedly sent lewd photos and racy text messages to a female employee of the New York Jets.  I see the pattern developing.  His next career move is to become a politician.


The Vikings-Jets game was delayed last night because of lightning.  No one's sure if the thunderbolts were caused by Mother Nature or Mrs. Favre.

At least now we know why Favre returned to the Vikings for another season.  His wife wanted him out of the house.

NY gubernatorial candidate and Tea Party favorite Carl Palladino said yesterday that Gay Pride parades are "disgusting".  Carl said he'd much rather see a traditional parade....with 10 male clowns crammed together in a Volkswagen.

Rapper Eminem told CNN's Anderson Cooper that he is not homophobic.  He said, "I don't have any problem with nobody."  That's true. His problem is with the English language.


In Brownsville, Texas, a 101-year old Mexican woman who entered this country along the Texas-Mexico border as an infant will finally become a U.S. citizen after she produced a Legal Entry document that was issued to her 69 years ago.  She will also start a new job next week as Meg Whitman's housekeeper.

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Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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How about Brett Favre? Apparently, when he was with the New York Jets a couple of seasons ago, he sent naked photos of himself to one of the Jets' female employees.  You could tell it was Brett.  He had a W stitched into each butt cheek.


Apparently Favre sent racy photos and text messages to the woman in hopes of impressing her.  I guess this time he was actually hoping to get sacked.

Turns out that in August, when those three Vikings teammates flew into Mississippi to bring Favre back to Minnesota, they were actually trying to rescue him from his wife.

Rap artist Eminen claims that he never swears at home.  Have you seen his schedule lately?  He's never at home.

The Social Network was the big box office attraction for the 2nd weekend in a row.  I'm surprised anybody could sit in a theater for two hours without turning on their phones to check Facebook.




The Social Network brought in 15 million dollars over the weekend.  Let's see...at today's ticket prices...actually, about 42 people saw the film.


Rudy Guiliani has been in California to campaign for Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman.  Rudy and Meg also got together to exchange names of illegal domestic help.


In his campaign speech in California, Rudy told everyone how he helped the people of San Francisco pull together and rebuild after the 1906 earthquake. 


A study claims that obesity is costing businesses 73 billion dollars a year.  Most of that is spent on installing larger computer monitors so employees can roll their chairs farther away from their desks and still see the screen.

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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A jury found Illinois' ex-governor Rod Blagojevich guilty on one count---lying to the FBI.  Apparently Blagojevich gave agents false information about how often he has his hair rebuilt.

For crying out loud, if their wind can't take down that hair, then Chicago has no business calling itself the Windy City.




Lindsay Lohan is back in the news today. OK magazine has offered her a million dollars for her first post-jail interview. Wouldn't it be nice if just once Lindsay Lohan would stay out of the news and the press would go into rehab?

Brett Favre has returned to the Minnesota Vikings' training camp. You know, there's so much drama surrounding Favre,  ABC is offering him the starring role in a new series called Desperate Quarterbacks.

Dr. Laura announced that she's ending her syndicated radio show at the end of the year.  She says she doesn't want to further embarass her sponsor,   Uncle Ben's.

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Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

Florida football coach Urban Meyer announced on Saturday that he was resigning due to health reasons. On Sunday, he announced that he was not resigning, he just needs time off. I think that's what you call Urban renewal.



Urban Meyer announced his resignation on Saturday and on Sunday he said he would return as Florida's head coach after all. Meyer is still learning. Brett Favre called and told him, "You should have waited way longer before you announced your comeback, dude!"



Indy quarterback Peyton Manning was unhappy about being yanked in the 3rd quarter yesterday, along with other key players, and ultimately losing to the New York Jets, dashing all hopes of a perfect season. But he respected Colts coach Jim Caldwell's decision and watched the rest of the game from the bench. Meanwhile, Brett Favre showed up on the sidelines and told Caldwell, "I'm going in."



President Obama visited a classroom of children during Christmas week and read The Polar Express. Then he explained how the Polar Express is really a metaphor for his chilly, rapidly declining approval ratings.



Britney Spears posted a "B.S." alert on her website, naming the top 75 most ridiculous stories printed about her during 2009. Next week, she'll post the ones that aren't true.



Archaeologists in Israel have unearthed the remains of a house in Nazareth, dating back to the time of Jesus. They think it may even be the house of Jesus himself. They found a letter from a Nazareth grammar school addressed to the parents of a student in the gifted program.



The Christmas week weather was nasty all over. Europe was even hit by bad weather. It was so cold in France you couldn't tell if everyone's faces were frozen or if they were just glaring rudely as usual.


Former President Jimmy Carter and his wife Rosalynn have been married for 63 years. He says that when he first asked her to marry him, she turned him down. Then she saw the size of his peanuts.


Over the holidays, Jon Gosselin's New York apartment was trashed. That would be by him living in it.


An Associated Press story reporting on Jon Gosselin's apartment break-in refers to Gosselin as a
"reality star". Wrong on both counts.


Charlie Sheen spent most of Christmas day in jail after being arrested following a domestic dispute with his wife. Charlie has a violent temper. Christmas at the Sheen house is known as "Two and A Half Trees".