Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Keith Olbermann, host of MSNBC's "Countdown", was suspended on Friday for violating NBC policy.  His suspension was lifted today and he will be returning to the air tomorrow night.  That was fast.  And Jay Leno is thinking, "I didn't even violate NBC policy and it took me six months to get back on the Tonight Show".

Megamind was the big film at the box office this weekend.  Megamind... there's an area where the Republicans don't have a majority.

Nevada is reporting that its streak of economic growth has halted.  That's because since last Tuesday, the Republicans have stopped putting their money on Sharron Angle.

Queen Elizabeth is now on Facebook.  You're not allowed to "friend" her, but you can become her subject.

You can't add the Queen as a friend and you also can't poke Queen Elizabeth.  But then, who'd want to?

Wouldn't that be funny if you could poke the Queen and her eyes and tongue bulged out like one of those rubber squeeze toys? 

A study says obesity rates in this country will be at 42% by 2050.  And by then, 42% of 10-year olds will weigh 2050.

San Francisco is banning restaurants like McDonalds from giving away toys in unhealthy meals.  Now to get your kids from screaming and bawling, you have to feed them crap and then go somewhere else and buy them a damn toy. 

An Australian rugby player has come under fire for posting pictures on the Internet that showed him having simulated sex with a dog.  People are enraged.  One thing they won't tolerate is a dog smoking a cigarette. 

It turns out that the rugby player's sex partner in those pictures isn't a real dog.  It's the girl he took to his senior prom.

.....Glad you stopped by and thanks for reading!

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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How about Brett Favre? Apparently, when he was with the New York Jets a couple of seasons ago, he sent naked photos of himself to one of the Jets' female employees.  You could tell it was Brett.  He had a W stitched into each butt cheek.


Apparently Favre sent racy photos and text messages to the woman in hopes of impressing her.  I guess this time he was actually hoping to get sacked.

Turns out that in August, when those three Vikings teammates flew into Mississippi to bring Favre back to Minnesota, they were actually trying to rescue him from his wife.

Rap artist Eminen claims that he never swears at home.  Have you seen his schedule lately?  He's never at home.

The Social Network was the big box office attraction for the 2nd weekend in a row.  I'm surprised anybody could sit in a theater for two hours without turning on their phones to check Facebook.




The Social Network brought in 15 million dollars over the weekend.  Let's see...at today's ticket prices...actually, about 42 people saw the film.


Rudy Guiliani has been in California to campaign for Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman.  Rudy and Meg also got together to exchange names of illegal domestic help.


In his campaign speech in California, Rudy told everyone how he helped the people of San Francisco pull together and rebuild after the 1906 earthquake. 


A study claims that obesity is costing businesses 73 billion dollars a year.  Most of that is spent on installing larger computer monitors so employees can roll their chairs farther away from their desks and still see the screen.

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Stupid neighbor!  The police just hauled him off.  He thought this was Burn a Korean Day.


Pastor Terry Jones now claims there will never be a Koran burning at his church in Florida.  This came after he discovered that the WWJD on his bracelet actually means, What Would Jihad Do?

As you probably know, Patriots QB Tom Brady was involved in a car accident in Boston Thursday morning.  Apparently, he was confused by the rush of oncoming traffic and changed his play at the red light.

A study claims that Facebook users are insecure and have low self esteem.  The results of that study were released yesterday on the research team's MySpace page.


In Madison, Wisconsin, a man criticized a street musician for his guitar playing, so the guitarist whacked the fellow over the head with his instrument.  In case you're wondering, he set his guitar down first.
(That one was for my friend, Milo)


Guernsey's Auction House in New York says it will auction off the actual tablets that Charlton Heston, as Moses, carried down the mountain in the film The Ten Commandments.  This was the scene where he told the Israelites, "Here. Take two tablets and call me in the morning."




A survey in Britain found that 3 out of 10 adults who claim to be wine connoisseurs commit a major faux paus---they mispronounce the brands or names of many wines.  It was also discovered that two-thirds of those conducting the survey incorrectly pronounced the word faux paus.

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