Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Donald Trump says that when it comes to eating pizza, he doesn't care for the crust.  Can you imagine Donald Trump not liking something associated with the word dough.

Sarah Palin took a break from her One Nation bus tour to visit Donald Trump in New York City and share a pizza.  Then it was back on the bus.  See, this is actually Sarah's new job: delivering pizzas. 

We only see one side of the bus, with the One Nation logo.  The other side says Dominos.

And by the way, Sarah Palin confided to Greta Van Susteren that Donald Trump is a lousy tipper.

And Greta complained to her bosses at Fox News that she's really getting tired of Sarah Palin calling her Gretchen Van Cistern.

Sarah Palin visited a cemetery at Gettysburg the other day.  She wanted to lay wreaths on the graves of all those patriotic Alaskans who gave their lives for the Union during the Civil War. 

Today she's taking the bus through the Holland Tunnel.  She says she can't wait to get to the other side and see all those windmills and tulips and the kids walking around in their wooden shoes. 

The media is having a hard time catching up with Palin's bus tour because her people won't tell reporters where she's going to stop next.  At least they can be reasonably sure she won't stop at any place that sells newspapers and magazines. 


Sarah Palin can blow more smoke on a tour bus than Willie Nelson. 



Well, today is a good day for Congressman Anthony Weiner.  He's looking at lucrative endorsements from both Hanes Underwear and Hebrew National.

If you don't know by now, a picture of a man's bulging underwear showed up the other day on Representative Weiner's Twitter account.   He's already getting laundry tips from the folks at Cheer on how to keep his whites white.


Mitt Romney has announced his presidential candidacy while on a farm in New Hampshire.  A farm was the perfect setting for Romney's  announcement.  He felt right at home wading in all the bullshit.


Romney said that Barack Obama has failed America and if elected he thinks he can do the job just as well. 




.....all for now....thanks for stopping by!

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Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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You've probably seen that photo on all those gossip shows of Arnold Schwarzenegger, puffing on that big cigar .  By the way, the wrapper said,  It Was A Boy!

The Arnold story has been all over the news this week.  Boy, when he says, "I'll be back!", he means it. 

Why do they keep referring to his son as a "love child"?  Isn't he more like a "Passion Prince"?

Oprah has taped her final talk show.  Audience members were told to look under their seats where they found a roll of duct tape to put over their mouths so we don't have to listen to all that infernal screaming.

Oprah says she's going to reveal her favorite guest of all time.  I figure, at one guest a day, five times a week,  52 weeks a year for 25 years...that's about  6500 guests.  Which means Oprah is going to tell us who her favorite is...and piss off 6,499 other guests.


Somewhere, Johnny Carson is going, "What's all the fuss?"


In a special televised address this morning, President Obama revealed his new foreign policy toward North Africa.  The president said that North Africa is so damn close to home he can hardly call it foreign. 


Al Qaeda has released another Osama bin Laden audiotape, made just days before his death.  Most of it's unintelligible because it was made in a basement with Bob Dylan and The Band.  


Ron Paul says he's running for president.  He's in favor of legalizing prostitution.  In other words, if Ron Paul becomes president, we'll have to start paying the government to screw us. 




Mitt Romney has raised $10 million for his campaign in just eight hours.  That's a buck a piece from each member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.


A woman in England says she is allergic to electricity.  You can't tell her the power bill is nothing to sneeze at.




A woman in California has been charged with injecting her 8-year old daughter with Botox.   She could have gotten the same results by letting the kid feed her face at McDonalds.


....thanks for reading!

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