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You've probably seen that photo on all those gossip shows of Arnold Schwarzenegger, puffing on that big cigar . By the way, the wrapper said, It Was A Boy!
The Arnold story has been all over the news this week. Boy, when he says, "I'll be back!", he means it.
Why do they keep referring to his son as a "love child"? Isn't he more like a "Passion Prince"?
Oprah has taped her final talk show. Audience members were told to look under their seats where they found a roll of duct tape to put over their mouths so we don't have to listen to all that infernal screaming.
Oprah says she's going to reveal her favorite guest of all time. I figure, at one guest a day, five times a week, 52 weeks a year for 25 years...that's about 6500 guests. Which means Oprah is going to tell us who her favorite is...and piss off 6,499 other guests.
Somewhere, Johnny Carson is going, "What's all the fuss?"
In a special televised address this morning, President Obama revealed his new foreign policy toward North Africa. The president said that North Africa is so damn close to home he can hardly call it foreign.
Al Qaeda has released another Osama bin Laden audiotape, made just days before his death. Most of it's unintelligible because it was made in a basement with Bob Dylan and The Band.
Ron Paul says he's running for president. He's in favor of legalizing prostitution. In other words, if Ron Paul becomes president, we'll have to start paying the government to screw us.
Mitt Romney has raised $10 million for his campaign in just eight hours. That's a buck a piece from each member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
A woman in England says she is allergic to electricity. You can't tell her the power bill is nothing to sneeze at.
A woman in California has been charged with injecting her 8-year old daughter with Botox. She could have gotten the same results by letting the kid feed her face at McDonalds.
....thanks for reading!
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