Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Well, it turns out Oprah's not really leaving.  She'll return in September after waking up from a dream to find herself in bed with a psychiatrist's wife named Emily.

Someone asked Oprah if she has any regrets after 25 years on television.  She looked up from her wallet and said, "Quiet, I'm still counting."


Oprah has finally revealed  her favorite guest of all time:  her accountant.

The Chicago Cubs say the crowd noise from the studio audience at Oprah's final farewell shows is the loudest thing they've heard since their last away game.

A couple in Canada recently had a baby and they're not telling anyone whether it's a boy or a girl.  The only thing they'll say is that the child is not Arnold Schwarzenegger's.

Actress Jane Seymour told CNN that Arnold Schwarzenegger has two more illegitimate children.  She says she wishes Arnold would come and get them, they're driving her crazy.

President Obama was in Ireland this week and celebrated his Irish roots.  Fox News has reported that it has traced Obama's ancestry and that  Moneygall, Ireland actually was the home of Obama's great great great grandfather.....Kunte McKinte.


John Edwards is being indicted on charges that he violated campaign laws by using donations to cover up his extramarital affair.  If convicted, Edwards could receive 5 to 10 years--of having his hair done at Cost Cutters.


Last night, Pittsburgh Steeler Hines Ward won this season's Dancing With The Stars competition, but he walked away empty-handed.  Kirstie Alley ate the Mirror Ball Trophy. 




.....all for now....thanks for reading!

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