NASA scientists have been asked to help figure out what caused the sudden acceleration in Toyota vehicles. Once they've discovered the secret, NASA will be able to get to the moon in half the time.
Imagine...NASA studying motor vehicles. Maybe next they can take their knowledge of moon craters and figure out how to fill the potholes in my street.
The Republican National Committee wants to know why $2000 from its campaign account was spent at an erotic nightclub in West Hollywood. An RNC staffer said he took a group of donors to the club when he heard it had an S&M theme...he thought it had something to do with the Republican Whip.
That sex-themed nightclub in West Hollywood is now on Sarah Palin's Facebook Page where she shows a map of Republican Congressional Districts and she's drawn a circle around the nightclub with a note: You Are Here.
In Germany, the Roman Catholic Church has opened a hotline for victims of child abuse. When they answer the phone, you say, "Bless me, Father, for you have sinned."
About Me
- Wendel Potter
- My writing career took off in 1979 and it continues to roll. I've written comedy for Joan Rivers, Jay Leno, Rodney Dangerfield, and the Yakov Smirnoff Show. I was a weekly columnist for a Nebraska newspaper for 10 years. Several of my short stories have been published in a national magazine, Woman's World. This blog is a return to old columns dear to my heart and new essays that are currently ideas on a close horizon. I hope we can become friends.
Showing posts with label toyota. Show all posts
Showing posts with label toyota. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
JOKES FOR MONDAY, MARCH 15TH by Wendel Potter
Today is March 15, known as the Ides of March. On this day in 44BC, Julius Caesar was assassinated by members of the Roman Senate. He was stabbed repeatedly and cut into little pieces. Someone thought to bring croutons and olive oil and...voila!...the Caesar Salad was born.
ABBA is being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame tonight. Only two members, Benny and Anni-Frid, will be present at the ceremonies. We're still trying to figure out if they are AB or BA.
The other female member of ABBA, Agnetha, won't attend because she doesn't like to fly. Worse yet, she discovered that upon arrival at the airport, ABBA is scheduled to be picked up in a Toyota.
None of the current members of the Hollies, who are also being inducted, are available to accept the award. It will be picked up by Milli Vanilli.
The U.S. census forms are showing up in mailboxes today. Except along our southern border, where the forms are included in a convenient Welcome to the U.S.A. starter kit and handed out to anyone caught sneaking into our country.
Actor Peter Graves of Mission Impossible fame has passed away. He will be cremated in an unusual fashion. Five seconds after the eulogy, his casket will self-destruct.
ABBA is being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame tonight. Only two members, Benny and Anni-Frid, will be present at the ceremonies. We're still trying to figure out if they are AB or BA.
The other female member of ABBA, Agnetha, won't attend because she doesn't like to fly. Worse yet, she discovered that upon arrival at the airport, ABBA is scheduled to be picked up in a Toyota.
None of the current members of the Hollies, who are also being inducted, are available to accept the award. It will be picked up by Milli Vanilli.
The U.S. census forms are showing up in mailboxes today. Except along our southern border, where the forms are included in a convenient Welcome to the U.S.A. starter kit and handed out to anyone caught sneaking into our country.
Actor Peter Graves of Mission Impossible fame has passed away. He will be cremated in an unusual fashion. Five seconds after the eulogy, his casket will self-destruct.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter
Did you hear about that couple that crashed the White House dinner on Tuesday? They told the Secret Service that they heard the government was footing the bill for a big dinner, so they just assumed it was a Thanksgiving meal for the poor.
That couple that got past security and crashed the state dinner at the White House said it was all a mistake. They thought they were in the line to see New Moon.
I understand the couple that crashed the state dinner finally gave themselves away. They forgot to bow to the Indian prime minister.
On a special Thanksgiving edition of his show Thursday night, Jay Leno gave away a new car to one of his audience members. I guess since Oprah's no longer doing her "favorite things" episode, Jay figured somebody had to step up to the plate.
Roman Polanski will be allowed to return to his chalet in the Swiss Alps on Monday, where he will be under house arrest. The first thing he's going to do when he gets home is throw a party in honor of his new housekeeper's 13th birthday.
Toyota is recalling 4 million vehicles. They say the cars experience sudden bursts of acceleration. Sounds like Toyota should be in charge of our economy.
Tiger Woods was involved in a car accident yesterday. He hit his neighbors' hydrant and tree. Oh boy! The neighbors had already been complaining that Tiger's dog kept hitting the same hydrant and tree.
To get Tiger Woods' out of his SUV after the accident, his wife knocked out the back window with a golf club. That was her first hole-in-one.
The police say they don't think alcohol was a factor. Tiger had just filled up with regular unleaded.
ESPN broke into college football coverage yesterday with the news about Tiger Woods' accident. However, The Golf Channel never did break in with any football scores.
Tiger Woods' accident happened as he was leaving his house at 2:30 Friday morning. He was trying to get to the mall to buy a Zhu Zhu hamster.
That couple that got past security and crashed the state dinner at the White House said it was all a mistake. They thought they were in the line to see New Moon.
I understand the couple that crashed the state dinner finally gave themselves away. They forgot to bow to the Indian prime minister.
On a special Thanksgiving edition of his show Thursday night, Jay Leno gave away a new car to one of his audience members. I guess since Oprah's no longer doing her "favorite things" episode, Jay figured somebody had to step up to the plate.
Roman Polanski will be allowed to return to his chalet in the Swiss Alps on Monday, where he will be under house arrest. The first thing he's going to do when he gets home is throw a party in honor of his new housekeeper's 13th birthday.
Toyota is recalling 4 million vehicles. They say the cars experience sudden bursts of acceleration. Sounds like Toyota should be in charge of our economy.
Tiger Woods was involved in a car accident yesterday. He hit his neighbors' hydrant and tree. Oh boy! The neighbors had already been complaining that Tiger's dog kept hitting the same hydrant and tree.
To get Tiger Woods' out of his SUV after the accident, his wife knocked out the back window with a golf club. That was her first hole-in-one.
The police say they don't think alcohol was a factor. Tiger had just filled up with regular unleaded.
ESPN broke into college football coverage yesterday with the news about Tiger Woods' accident. However, The Golf Channel never did break in with any football scores.
Tiger Woods' accident happened as he was leaving his house at 2:30 Friday morning. He was trying to get to the mall to buy a Zhu Zhu hamster.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)