Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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At the Alaska Zoo in Anchorage, a 5 year old boy won the annual Moose Calling contest.  His moose call was so authentic that Sarah Palin shot him.

Oprah Winfrey announced on her show Monday that she is taking the entire audience on a trip to Australia.  Oprah said this would be a whole lot cheaper than taking them to Disney World.


Fidel Castro told a magazine reporter that Nicolas Sarkozy, the president of France, is crazy.  He then went on to say that if President Kennedy doesn't back down, Khruschev will be forced to use nuclear weapons against the United States.




They're claiming that one of the dresses Lady GaGa wore at the VMAs Sunday night was actually made out of raw meat.  So that's why I'm hearing those American Beef Council commercials with Sam Elliot saying, "GaGa.  It's what's for dinner."

Ines Sainz, a female TV reporter covering last night's New York Jets game is claiming that she was harassed by the Jets' players and coaches.  One of her complaints was that during drills, footballs were thrown so close to her that they were dropping at her feet.  The Jets' receivers are claiming the same thing happens to them.

Last night, after Baltimore's victory over the Jets, Ravens' players said, "We were close to them the whole game, but we sure didn't feel harassed."

Ms. Sainz says she has accepted an apology from New York Jets president Woody Johnson.  She also noted that every team she covers seems to have a Woody.

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Yesterday was Father's Day.  This year one of the biggest selling Father's Day gifts for fishermen, that wives  were buying for their husbands, was a new ultra-tech state of the art depth finder.  It actually tells you how much hot water you're going to be in after you've been out fishing too long.


American Idol announced that it's lowering its minimum age to 15.  An hour later,  Lawrence Taylor announced the same thing.


There's a Lakers victory parade being held in Los Angeles today.  One of the floats will feature Ron Artest lying on a couch while his psychiatrist sits in a chair taking notes. 


My wife says that sports and psychiatrists must go together, that's why I spend so much time on the couch.

Another Lakers Fans Riot has been scheduled immediately following the parade.


After the NBA Championship game last Thursday night, the Lakers all thanked their wives, their moms, their coaches, their god, even their psychiatrists.  But once again the three most important people got left out:  mistresses, lawyers, and bail bondsmen.


  
Lady Gaga was thrown out of the New York Yankees clubhouse because she appeared drunk and was coming on to some of the players.  Members of the Yankees team said that Lady Gaga had no business doing that.  They said, "Hey!  That's our job."


Lady Gaga was dressed in knickers and a black bra with a Yankee shirt that was unbuttoned.  Yankees management was furious with her for revealing the new look for next season's uniforms.

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