Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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A Huffington Post blogger has accused former president George W. Bush of plagiarism, saying that Bush lifted material from some of his advisers' books.  After eight lousy years in the White House, wouldn't you think he'd learn to stop listening to anything his advisers had to say.

How could President Bush be accused of lifting material from other books?  That means he'd have had to read other books.

A hearing on ethics charges against New York Congressman Charles Rangel begins today.  Al Sharpton was protesting, saying that the charges are discriminatory.  Jesse Jackson later took Al aside and told him, "They said ethics, Al, not ethnics."

A power outage at the New Meadowlands stadium yesterday delayed the Cowboys-Giants game.  And when you're getting beat by Dallas, a delay is like rubbing salt in a wound.

The power went out twice at Meadowlands.  Both times it came back on, the Cowboys had scored. 

They say the cost of Thanksgiving dinner will be 1.3% higher this year.   Why is that?  Our reason for giving thanks certainly hasn't increased by 1.3%.

The Roman Catholic Church in the United States has been overwhelmed by requests for exorcists.  I guess going to the polls and voting just didn't work.


The Church held a training workshop this weekend in Baltimore to teach bishops and priests the art of exorcism.  It was originally scheduled to be held in New Jersey, but they didn't want it billed as The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.




If the Catholic Church really knew how to drive out devils, maybe they wouldn't have a problem with pedophile priests.




Last week, a woman in Florida was charged with attempting to sell her baby so she could pay for a new car.  She actually could have paid for the car, but there wouldn't have been enough left over to afford a car seat for the kid.




And finally, the world's oldest shrimp has been discovered in Oklahoma.  Wait a minute....I thought Gary Coleman was dead!


..........a good Monday to you and thanks for reading!

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Former president George W. Bush's book, Decision Points, sold 220,000 copies on its first day.  Now the curator of the George W. Bush Library is trying to decide what to do with 220,000 copies of Decision Points.

Regarding his legacy, George Bush says he hopes he will be judged a success, but that "I'll be dead when they figure it out".  Sounds to me he plans to live forever.

Did you hear that the FDA wants to put images of diseased lungs on packs of cigarettes?  So what's next?  Putting fake vomit on a case of beer?

One of the FDA's proposals to deter smokers is to put pictures of ravaged corpses on cigarette packages.  To deter drinkers, they want whiskey bottles to bear images of the skanky whore you could wake up next to on the morning after. 

In Oklahoma, two sisters who play on their school's golf team, each recorded a hole-in-one on the same round.  They were even with the same caddy in the same clump of bushes.

Archeologists say that Neanderthals led very active sex lives.  They reached this conclusion after finding a fossilized beret and a fossilized blue dress with a fossilized stain under a fossilized desk in what appears to be the fossilized oval office of a Neanderthal leader.

A new study claims that one in ten school aged children have ADHD.   The numbers could be higher, but researchers could only get one in ten kids to sit still long enough to talk to them.

The Defense Department says that lifting the ban on gays serving openly in the military would have little effect on war efforts.  Unless, of course, it's the war on gays serving openly in the military.

Singer Pink announced that she's expecting her first child.  Pink says if the baby's a boy, she may consider changing her name to Blue.

Conan O'Brien's ratings went sky high on Monday night.  Now they've dropped by two thirds.  As a matter of fact, Jay Leno called TBS and said, "Forget it.  I don't want to take over Conan's time slot after all."