Showing posts with label Pakistan flood assistance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pakistan flood assistance. Show all posts

Friday, May 27, 2011

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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PayPal is suing Google over confidential trade secrets.  Gee, if PayPal wins, I wonder how they'll want to receive their money.


The man who abducted Elizabeth Smart and held her hostage has been sentenced to life in prison.  Shouldn't some creep like that be sentenced to no life in prison?


Oprah spent her first day off the air at home yesterday.  She was really upset, too!  She surfed all the channels and couldn't find "Oprah".


After spending a day in the house, Oprah said she was starting to feel like Lindsay Lohan. 


Oprah's driving Stedman crazy.  Last night, he told her she should look in to volunteer work just to get out of the house.


Hillary Clinton says that Pakistan is a good partner of the United States.  When it comes to partners, do we really want to trust Hillary's judgment?


Congresswoman Michele Bachmann says she has an important announcement to make next month in Iowa.  It's either that she's running for president or she's entering Iowa's annual Miss Corn Cob pageant.


President Obama is in France to attend the G8 summit.  When Sarah Palin heard this, she slapped her forehead and say, "Wow!  I could've have had a G8!"




The G8 summit is a meeting of the world's top economic powers.  So of course, President Obama was there merely as an observer.


MSNBC suspended liberal talk show host Ed Schultz for calling conservative Laura Ingram a "right wing slut".   Liberal sluts across the country say they are grateful to Ed for making the distinction.


..........have a happy Friday evening and thanks for reading!


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Thursday, August 19, 2010

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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President Obama says that Social Security is not in crisis.  Of course, by social security, he meant feeling comfortable at a party.



On the subject of building that mosque near Ground Zero, President Obama says he has no regrets for his remarks last week.....and will continue to have no regrets....until November of 2012. 



According to the New York Daily News, a poll shows that one in five Americans believe that Barack Obama is a Muslim.  In a separate poll, only one in ten believe that George W. Bush was actually a president.



The Screen Actors Guild will honor 93-year old Ernest Borgnine with its Lifetime Achievement  award.  The ceremony is planned for January which they hope will still be in Ernest's lifetime.



A beauty salon in Los Angeles has been accused of cheating celebrities, including actress Liv Tyler.  Good for Liv Tyler for speaking out.  It's surprising  there's any Hollywood celebrities who would admit to being cheated when it comes to beauty.



In Spain, a bull jumped over a wall at a bullring and ran through the stands, injuring 40 people.  In Washington, the bull runs wild in Congress and its the folks on the outside who end up getting hurt.



According to the U.N., eight million Pakistanis are in need of flood assistance.  And there's 300 million people in this country who are in over our heads and can't get any assistance.





A study shows that a pregnant woman's exposure to bug spray can result in her child being ADHD.
And ironically when children show signs of ADHD  you need the bug spray to stop them in their tracks.




In a related study,  it's been discovered that Ritalin makes a great insect repellant.