Showing posts with label kelsey grammer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kelsey grammer. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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49% of Republicans polled by CNN say they would support Sarah Palin's nomination for president in 2012.  The other 51% polled were not residents of the Wasilla Psychiatric Hospital.


Kelsey Grammer is marrying Kayte Walsh, a young lady half his age.  Kelsey says it was love at first sight when he spotted her on an episode of "Toddlers and Tiaras".


A spa in Santa Monica is offering its female customers a soothing, cleansing vaginal steam bath.  This is a true story.  It's a Korean treatment called chai-yok where the lady squats over a wooden stool with a hole that's filled with a warm, steamy mixture of herbs.  Wouldn't it be easier just to put a saddle on a Vicks Vaporizer?


James Burrows from Toledo, Ohio claims that he bought a piece of hard candy that bears an image of the Virgin Mary and the Baby Jesus.  Either that or it's the official logo for Madonna's Hard Candy Fitness Centers.


300 passengers on a flight from Vancouver were stranded on the tarmac of JFK Airport for 11 hours with very little food and inadequate restroom facilities.  That was the good news.  The bad news is they're headed for Miami where they'll board a Carnival Cruise ship.




Residents of Brooklyn, New York are upset because the city's snowplows have not cleaned the streets and many people can't get to their jobs.  Apparently those people are the ones who work for the Brooklyn street department.


The NFL has fined Brett Favre $50,000 for failing to cooperate in the investigation of his alleged lewd photo and text transmissions to a woman who worked for the New York Jets.  Fifty thousand isn't bad.  Favre paid that much for his high speed Verizon package.


According to CNN, the East Coast blizzard has cost retailers a billion dollars in after-Christmas sales.  They've also postponed annual January White Sales because it'll be April before shoppers even want to look at anything white.


Reese Witherspoon is engaged to Jim Toth, who is a  Hollywood agent.  The couple was in negotiations for three months before he finally closed the deal.


.....that's it for today....thanks for reading!


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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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The Denver Broncos have fired head coach Josh McDaniels now that the team is 3-9 on the season.  That's step one.  Now for step two: apply to have the Broncos reinstated as a pro football team.


The much hyped showdown in the AFC East between the Patriots and the Jets fizzled last night.  New England beat New York 45-3.  Apparently the Jets' engines were built by Qantas.


Some of the college football bowl matchups are a bit disappointing.  For instance, the Nebraska Cornhuskers will play the Washington Huskies on December 30th.  Nebraska whipped Washington earlier in the season and will play them again next September.  I think they're calling this one the Deja Vu Bowl.


Good news yesterday for shortstop Derek Jeter.  The Yankees offered him a 51 million dollar contract...and President Obama agreed to extend his tax cut.


A woman in Anniston, Alabama, has been arrested for stealing 222 books from the local library.  Well, it's been getting unseasonably chilly in Alabama at night and the poor woman was out of firewood.


Jane Fonda has released her new workout DVD.  And if you're as old as Jane Fonda,  the workout consists of trying to peel the security label off the DVD box. 


In Jane's video,  she gets you working out with weights.  She calls the exercise "Barbellella".


Jane Fonda says she would like to have a role in a TV series.  Apparently she was inspired while watching a rerun of the The Waltons' episode where Grandma has a stroke and she thought, "I can do that!"


Sunday night, on another episode of "Sarah Palin's Alaska", Sarah and her father were in the   wilderness hunting big game.  On Monday morning, Santa Claus filed a missing reindeer report.




Actor Kelsey Grammer, who is 55, is engaged to 29-year old Kayte Walsh.  Talk about robbing the cradle.  I hear that after sex, Kayte claps her hands and says, "Aw done!  Aw done!"




Kelsey's 55 and Kayte's 29.   For a wedding gift, I'm sending them a night light.  She's afraid of the dark and he gets up 3 times to pee.




........thanks for playing along!




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