Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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The FBI was called to a Denver shopping mall where they discovered two bombs.....Sears and Blockbuster.


Michele Bachmann is scheduled to officially kick off her presidential campaign on Monday.  She'll do this in the farming state of Iowa where it will be difficult to distinguish what she has to say from the rest of the bullshit lying around. 




Bachmann told CBS's Face the Nation that she's qualified for the presidency because of her experience running a mental health clinic.  So far she's the only inmate from the asylum to announce her candidacy.




She said she would be in favor of eliminating the federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour as a means of creating jobs.   That would create plenty of jobs...like the ones left open by the people who quit because they can't work for less than $7.25 an hour.




Michele Bachmann also appeared on Fox News Sunday, where she was asked flat out, "Are you a flake?"  She said no, she wasn't.  Wrong answer if she ever hopes to get a job at Fox News.



Sarah Palin will be in Pella, Iowa on Tuesday for the premiere of her documentary film.  The town is the headquarters for Pella Windows.  Someone from Iowa asked Sarah if she had Pella Windows in Alaska.  She said, "No, I have a Mac."


Iowa gets Bachmann on Monday and Palin on Tuesday.  The Hawkeye State wanted to continue the theme for the remainder of the week,  but the other members of the Keystone Cops are dead.

Sarah Palin suspended her bus tour to return to Alaska for jury duty.  Turns out she didn't get picked to serve because it was a criminal case and she personally knows every crook in the state.


Sarah Palin says that her daughter Bristol's new book is "shocking and honest."  Now I can see where Sarah Palin might be familiar with the concept of shocking.

 

 

In her memoir, Bristol Palin says she was a good girl and a straight-A student and she wasn't convinced that she was pregnant until after her 8th home pregnancy test.  Apparently, she was color blind, too.

In Alaska, those home pregnancy tests will fool you every time.  It's so cold there, everything turns blue.

 

 

The New York State senate has approved same sex marriage.  But I hear that it might be repealed.  The senate didn't realize the bill dealt with gay unions.  They just assumed it had something to do with the fact that after you're married, sex is always pretty much the same.

Jennifer Aniston has the name of her dead dog Norman tattooed on her right foot.  Now, whenever she walks past a fire hydrant, she feels the urge to lift her leg.