Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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In her book, Not Afraid of Life, Bristol Palin talks about the night she lost her virginity in a drunken stupor.  She refers to it as the "deep quicksand of sexual sin".  So apparently she got   sand in her crack.

Deep quicksand of sexual sin....this sounds more like a memoir by Snooki as told to Danielle Steel.




So Bristol says she lost her virginity on a drunken camping trip with Levi Johnston and a bunch of friends.  I guess during sex Bristol called out everybody's name......



....including Charlie Sheen. 

Sarah Palin has put her One Nation Bus Tour on hold.  She says she had to go back to Alaska for jury duty.  She's feeling pretty good about it, too.  Anytime she's with eleven other people, she thinks she's one of the apostles. 

Sarah Palin has scrapped her plans to go to Sudan next month with Franklin Graham.  Actually,  it could have been embarrassing for Franklin to have Sarah tagging along in a black nation, calling out her nickname for Graham, which is Cracker.



President Obama is being called "The Baby Whisperer" after he was captured on video the other day.  He picked up a crying baby out of a crowd and the child immediately quieted down.   Too bad that doesn't work when he picks up Joe Biden. 

Lindsay Lohan says she wants to do whatever it takes to get her film career back.  What?  She had a career?

Lindsay says she wants to earn the respect of directors, writers, actors, and fans.   That's easy enough.  Leave Hollywood and never come back.



Opening in theaters today is Cameron Diaz' new film, Bad Teacher...or No Crude Joke Left Behind. 




.......Happy Friday and thanks for reading!

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