Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

Last year, we bought a new bed. Two guys delivered it on Thanksgiving Day. They put the bed together, then they threw their coats on it.



This being Thanksgiving week, Barack Obama has the traditional presidential task of pardoning a turkey. But first it has to stand trial in New York City.



President Obama is holding his first State Dinner tonight. He invited Sarah Palin but first she wanted to know which state the dinner would be in.



Sarah Palin's book "Going Rogue" sold 300,000 copies on its first day. Bill Clinton's book sold 400,000 the day it went on sale, but keep in mind it was cheaper and came with a commemorative cigar.


Regis Philbin announced that he's having hip replacement surgery on December 1st. Christie's plans to auction off his old hip.



The final episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 aired on TLC last night. However, the Hallmark Channel is getting the whole clan back together for a holiday special on Thursday. It's called "Thanksgiving on Gosselin's Mountain".



Everyone seems to be broken up over Oprah's news that she's ending her talk show. But it's not over until September of 2011. This is like Cher doing two years of farewell tours.



After an 0-6 start, the Tennessee Titans have now won four games in a row. One more win and Titans owner Bud Adams can flip his opponents an entire hand.


Fifteen of Charles Darwin's notebooks, outlining his theory of evolution, will soon be published online. They say there is still one notebook missing. That must be the one that theorizes how some apes evolved into a subspecies called FoxNews.


This just in: President Obama announced that he intends to finish the job in Afghanistan. I guess that means we're not leaving until Afghanistanis have a health care plan in place.


Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen was punched in the face Sunday morning by an irate fan. When asked about the incident, Fighting Irish Coach Charlie Weis said, "At this point, I don't consider myself a fan."