Jokes for Thursday March 4 by Wendel Potter

The head of the Russian Olympic Committee has resigned after Russia's lackluster showing at Vancouver.  It was either resign or be fired, which would still be better than the old days in Russia when you weren't fired, you were fired on.




New York Governor David Paterson is being accused of breaking ethics laws by obtaining free Yankee tickets for the 2009 World Series.  It was also reported that Paterson was disruptive at the game by repeatedly hollering, "You missed that by a mile, Ump...what's the matter..are you freakin' blind?"






It's been reported that Sarah Palin is working on a new book.  There's also talk of a reality TV show in her future as well as a movie deal.  Good for her.  Hopefully that will keep her busy well past 2012.



Sarah Palin says the book she's currently writing will be a "celebration of American virtues".   Sarah's daughter, Bristol, is helping her mother with this book on virtue.  She proofreads the manuscript every afternoon when her bastard child goes down for a nap.



On Tuesday, Sarah Palin performed a stand up comedy routine on Jay Leno's show.  It was a revelation for thousands of skilled comedians who continue to wait for their first big break on the Tonight Show:  first, you attend five colleges, then you get into sportscasting, then you get yourself elected as councilman, mayor, and finally governor, then engage in a losing, half-assed presidential campaign that involves buying lots of new clothes, free plane rides for the kids, and futile attempts at dodging questions from Katie Couric (that bitch!), then quit your job as governor so you can spend more time with your snarky family, then write a 400 page load of crap you call a memoir, become a correspondent for FOX News (a great breeding ground for clowns)then go back out and stump for the brain-dead ultra-conservative cause.........then....MAYBE THEN....Jay Leno will hire you.


Scientific research shows that methane gas is leaking through the Arctic Ocean floor and into the Earth's atmosphere.  Scientists say that this seepage of methane will wreak havoc with the entire world's climate.  There is an advantage however to having the atmosphere permeated with methane gas.  You'll be able to fart all you want and no one will know the difference.


 

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

Director Martin Scorcese will be receiving the Cecil B. DeMille award at the Golden Globes. The DeMille award trophy is impressive. Scorcese's name will be lavishly inscribed on two stone tablets.


Sarah Palin told Oprah Winfrey that Levi Johnston, the young father of her grandson, is still part of the family. Sarah said Levi is an important member. We will soon get a chance to see that member in Playgirl.


Sarah Palin says that she knew immediately that she was doing badly in her interview with Katie Couric. Two minutes in, she had already checked off all seven warning signs of an interview about to go in the dumper.


We all knew Sarah Palin wasn't doing well in the Couric interview. We could tell by her moose in the headlights look.


Palin says that Katie Couric was biased. She also said the same thing about all her college professors who ever asked her a legitimate question.


Early reviews of Sarah Palin's book say that many of the chapters are very, very long. It was a nice way of saying the book rambles aimlessly. Man, her ghost writer must be good.


They say that although Sarah Palin is the only name to appear on the cover, her book is obviously ghost written. You can tell because it's so transparent.


Going Rogue hits bookstands next Tuesday. Let's hope it's a fast read because Wednesday is recycling pickup day.