Monday, September 26, 2011

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Arnold Schwarzenegger is publishing a memoir which he says will be "unbelievably true".   And I'm sure it will also be dishonestly honest.



In the book, Arnold discusses his acting career and how he watched endless reruns of Full House in order to get into the "heart and soul" of the role he played in Kindergarten Cop.



Let's face it, Arnold will make a lot of money off this book.  That's why he's calling it "Jingle All The Way".



Believe me, calling it "The Kennedy Husbands" would have been too much of a stretch.

  

Danny Litwhiler, a former college baseball coach and MLB player,  has passed away at the age of 95. He is credited with developing the radar gun used to measure pitching speed in baseball. At his death, the gun clocked Mr. Litwhiler’s heart rate at 0 beats per minute.
 
Herman Cain was the winner in this weekend's Florida GOP Straw Poll.  And everyone who voted got a free slice of Godfather's pizza.
 
Another government shutdown is looming for this weekend.  The good news is that C-Span will finally have a chance to change the battery in its camera.
 
Southwest Airlines says that someone has painted Arabic symbols on the sides of some of their airplanes.  It turns out the symbols are code for "Bags fly free...so bring your wives".
 
Southwest officials say that's the last time they charter a private flight for the Middle East Paint Ball team.
 
NASA scientists say that the satellite scheduled to crash into the earth did so early Saturday, somewhere in the North Pacific Ocean and there was no reported injury or incident.  In other news, that Alaskan cruise ship that set sail from Seattle on Friday is still missing...
 
A study has concluded that laughter is physical, not mental.   By the way, that study was conducted physically by a team of researchers who didn't have a humorous thought in their heads.
 
Boeing has delivered the first 787 Dreamliner to All Nippon Airways.  All Nippon is concerned because it turns out that boeing  is also the sound the jet makes when it takes off.
 
.....that's all for now....thanks for reading!
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