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Vice President Joe Biden is in China. Did you know that when Joe Biden opens his mouth, the distance between his top teeth and his bottom teeth is greater than the height of most Chinese people?
Joe Biden should feel comfortable in China. He's used to reading everything to the left.
A terrorist is urging U.S. Muslims to cut off David Letterman's tongue and also "break his neck" for mocking Osama bin Laden and other fallen al Qaeda leaders in his monologues. Letterman is currently on vacation and is reported to be traveling in disguise....he's wearing a Jay Leno mask.
Casey Anthony heard about the threat to cut off Letterman's tongue. She said, "If you really want to shut him up, duct tape is better."
Christine O'Donnell walked off the set of Piers Morgan Tonight after Morgan repeatedly asked for her opinion on gay marriage and she refused to talk about it. Turns out Christine is attending an O'Donnell family reunion this weekend and she doesn't want Cousin Rosie to beat her up.
Los Angeles has fired Standard & Poor because the firm downgraded the city. I wish it would have been that easy to get rid of a few of my teachers.
Newt Gingrich finished 8th in Saturday's Iowa Straw Poll, but he says he's "not dead yet". So apparently that poll didn't contain the last straw.
Well, the new Spy Kids 4D movie has an exciting gimmick. It's called AromaScope. You get a scratch 'n sniff card that lets you smell what's going on in the movie. You know, like stale popcorn, sweaty old people, and urine.
....that's all for now...thanks for reading!
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