Monday, July 25, 2011

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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A Chicago man who allegedly had ties to the mob and was heavily in debt disappeared and was finally declared dead 25 years ago.  Now he has been discovered alive and working as a bookie in Las Vegas.  What are the odds?



Senator Harry Reid criticized the House for taking the weekend off in the midst of the debt crisis talks.  Reid made his comments from his cell phone at his vacation home in Jamaica.  


A huge birthday bash and fund raiser is being planned in Chicago for President Obama next week.  The party will also serve as a fund raiser.  The president hopes to raise 14 trillion dollars.




President Obama says he'll not attend his birthday party in Chicago if the nation's default deadline is missed.  He'll be too busy in the Oval Office answering debt collection calls.


Another hot weekend.  It was so hot, at an AC/DC concert, DC got booed.


It's so hot, the Food Network spoiled.


The Weather Channel has mentioned "heat wave" so often,  Martha and the Vandellas get a royalty check. 


It's so hot Willie Nelson is smoking menthol joints.


It's so hot Amy Winehouse can't come up with enough fans to keep her cold.




In a parking lot in Pennsylvania, someone found a bag containing 35 pounds of human vomit, or as Taco Bell calls it , leftovers.



Elliot Handler has passed away at the age of  95.  Mr. Handler was one of the founders of the Mattel Toy company and a creator of the Chatty Kathy doll.  At the visitation, mourners pulled a ring on the casket and heard a recorded message from Elliot. 


Captain America beat out Harry Potter at the box office this weekend.  This was after Paul Revere rode through the theaters, ringin' those bells and firin' those warnin' shots.


..........all for now and thanks for reading!


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