Today's Joke Potpourri by Wendel Potter

________

The economy is so bad right now, I saw a street corner musician passing the hat.  The only thing he got was ringworm.

You know the economy is in bad shape when the only people who don’t fear losing their jobs are the ones who work at the unemployment office.

You can tell the U.S. dollar is weak.  They've just out with a new one dollar bill.  It has a picture of George Washington using a walker.

A friend of mine who came to America from another country was having a hard time understanding our American expressions.  He told me he saw a big screen TV in a store and a sign read, “Six Months..No Interest.”  He said, “You would think they’d drop the price if no one was interested after six months.”

We put chili on a hamburger and call it a chiliburger.  We put cheese on a hamburger and call it a cheeseburger.  Why don’t we have to put ham on it to call it a hamburger?

Did you ever stop to think that when a picnic gets rained out, we take the food indoors? So shouldn’t we say, “The picnic got rained in?”

A mother and her little girl had one last stop to make on their shopping trip, but couldn’t find a parking spot.  The woman was desperate and she was only going to be a minute, so she stopped the car in the street alongside a parked car and she and the little girl went inside the shop.

Wouldn’t you know it, when they came out minutes later, a policeman handed her a ticket.  “This is for double parking, ma’am.”  Back inside the car, the little girl looked quizzically at her mom and asked, “Why did he call it double parking?  We only have one car.”

It seems to me that the best kind of doctor is the veterinarian.  His patients can’t tell him what’s wrong, so he has to be smart enough to figure it out for himself.

 A young wife and her new husband had his parents over for dinner.  Her mother-in-law complimented her and said, “Your floors are so clean we could eat off them.”  The young lady whispered to her husband, “I hope she feels the same way about the dinner plates.”

Did you ever observe people at a big department store? They have no problem using the “in” door on the right and the “out” door on the left, but inside the store all they do is block the aisles.

It’s interesting to me that the FDA can ban the sale of a drug that’s harmful to laboratory rats, but we can still go to the store and buy all the rat poison we want.

.....thanks for playing along!

________