Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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With the earthquake and devastating tsunami in the news, I thought I'd skip the current events today and let you have a look at some good old-fashioned one liners.   Hope you enjoy the change of pace.....

 

  

A  study done in Milan shows that 60 percent of Catholics in Italy don’t feel the need to go to confession and the Vatican is upset.  I don’t understand why. If you’ve brought that many people to a place in their lives where they feel like they’re not doing anything wrong, then I’d say you’ve done your job.

Some friends of ours recently got married.  She’s a life-long Catholic.  He plans to join the Church.  So, at the wedding, we threw converted rice.

 The couple next door are both undertakers.  They have a two-car garage marked “His” and “Hearse”.

They invited us to dinner at their house.  She's not a great cook.  Her kids put a statue of Jesus on the dashboard of the stove.

Then they painted a half moon on the oven door.

The poor woman's had it rough. She says she wasn’t real popular in high school.  She was stood up at the Father-Daughter Dance.

She's so unpopular she was in Capistrano last March and the swallows refused to return.

Her husband's from the South.  He says his hometown is so redneck that the school there was KKK through 12.

We live in a small Nebraska city.  The folks here aren't real worldly.  The community theater recently put on "Hamlet".  When it was over, the audience hollered, "Author!  Author!"

We have a radio station that's closed captioned.

Its call letters are KDUM.

We have a new Chinese restaurant in town.  The food is so spicy you have to eat with Chapsticks.

 

I guess it’s time for some Spring cleaning at our house.  My wife's mother stopped over, took one look around and said, “How much do you pay your garbage man to have the trash delivered?”

I’m behind on my house cleaning.  My exterminator tells me the bugs are starting to complain.


....hope you enjoyed these and thanks for reading

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