Monday, January 24, 2011

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Exercise and fitness icon Jack LaLanne has passed away.  There will be no pallbearers at the funeral.  Jack's still fit enough to carry his own casket.


Keith Olbermann broadcasted his final "Countdown" show for MSNBC on Friday night.  The network must have been eager to get rid of Keith.  They pulled the plug before he was finished counting down.


The firing of liberal anchor Keith Olbermann comes in the midst of the NBC/Comcast merger.  Apparently, Comcast  didn't want right wingers referring to the network as "Commiecast".


A restaurant in Tucson now serves a taco made with the meat from lions.  At the end of the day, they take the left over lion meat and throw it to the Christians.


A lion taco....now if you're buying for a large group,  do you order a "pride" of tacos?


The same restaurant also offers tacos made with python.  It's served on shredded lettuce.  They call it "Snake in the Grass".


At an aquarium in the Ukraine, a crocodile swallowed a cell phone.  The crocodile quickly regurgitated the phone after it received a picture of Brett Favre's penis.


A German man in Los Angeles has pleaded guilty to smuggling charges after being caught shipping live tarantulas through the mail.  In the guy's defense, those extra eight legs helped speed up mail delivery.


In Greece, a monk was caught at an airport carrying the skeleton of a nun in his luggage.  He told authorities that actually she was alive...she was just fasting.



Oprah Winfrey promised to reveal some big news today and she delivered.  She introduced the television world to her half-sister, Patricia.  Unfortunately for Patricia, she's the poor half.




.....thanks for reading and tune in again tomorrow!




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