Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

________

President Obama is proposing a freeze on civilian federal workers' wages.  That or at least make them get off their asses and earn their money.


A report shows that the president of Afghanistan has pardoned some notorious drug dealers....not only were they pardoned, but Willie and his band are welcome to play Kabul any time they want.


In New York, actor Martin Raynor collapsed onstage during a performance in which he was portraying Sigmund Freud.  They tried to make him comfortable until the ambulance arrived.  Fortunately, there was a couch available.




Mr. Raynor really gets into character.  Someone hollered, "Is there a doctor in the house?" and Raynor lifted his head and said, "I'm a doctor!'




The audience got a nice break on ticket prices since they paid by the hour.



San Francisco has a new "Sit-Lie Law".  The city has made it illegal to sit or lie down on a city sidewalk or street.   It looks like San Francisco's homeless will now have to live exclusively in refrigerator boxes since they'll need something tall enough to stand up in.


This report just in:  TSA patdowns have now surpassed Eharmony.com and Match.com as the leader in finding the perfect mate. 


This morning on The View, Susan Boyle got a frog in her throat and began choking while singing O Holy Night.  Susan's version of O Holy Night is now called  "O Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkkkkkkkkkkkkkk".




What is it about The View?  Susan Boyle opens her mouth and chokes, and Elizabeth Hasselbeck opens her mouth and everyone else chokes.




The last time anyone on The View had something caught in their throat was three weeks ago when Bill O'Reilly put his foot in his mouth.




..........thanks for reading and stop back again!

________