Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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A 74-year old woman in Malibu has built a house out of an old 747.  The closets are still empty, she's just waiting for her baggage to arrive.




The neighbors are already complaining.  The landing lights in the back yard are keeping them awake.




Friends threw a house warming party for the woman.  Everyone who showed up had to pass through security.


The party was crashed by a couple of Pakistani-trained terrorists.


When the family gets together for Thanksgiving, the adults eat in First Class and the kids eat in Coach.


Yesterday, the lady who owns the 747 house called the cops on her neighbor.  His car was blocking her tarmac.



The FDA says that in clinical trials, Filbanserin, the new "female viagra" drug,  did not increase sexual desire in a woman any more than a placebo.  Actually, the placebo would have won but they forgot to install the batteries.




Filbanserin also comes with a list of side effects such as dizziness, nausea, and anxiety, which coincidentally are all excuses for not having sex in the first place.


An inmate in Utah, who faces execution tonight, has asked the governor for a temporary stay.  His final meal request was steak and lobster.  He said it was delicious and he'd definitely order it again. 




BP CEO Tony Hayward made a statement today.  He said he was "personally devastated" by the gushing oil leak in the Gulf.   That may be.  He looks about as oily and slick as they come.







And in celebrity gossip news, rumor has it that Al Gore had an affair with Laurie David, the producer of Al's documentary film.  Laurie David is divorced from comedian Larry David, best known for his hit show "Curb Your Enthusiasm".  Apparently Laurie was looking for a man whose enthusiasm has been curbed for some time.