Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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An earthquake was felt in Washington DC early this morning. The Democrats were concerned.  They weren't expecting a shake-up until November.

The Obamas are headed to Maine today for a short vacation.   President Obama plans to take a walk along the Maine shoreline and hopes a lighthouse will go off in his head.

BP has stopped the oil leak after 12 weeks.  They say the well's good for another 3 months or 3 millions gallons, whichever comes first.

Dick Cheney had heart surgery last week.  Doctors say the next step is a heart transplant.  But they'll never get a perfect match.  No donor has that black of a heart.

 

Linday Lohan has ordered a new license plate.  It'll say: I MDE THS MYSLF

As of yesterday, texting while driving is against the law in Nebraska.  So far, the only drivers pulled over were from out of state and they were all sending emergency texts....like, How the hell do I get out of Nebraska!


Bob Sheppard, the Voice of the Yankees, who served as the PA Announcer at Yankee Stadium for 57 years, was laid to rest yesterday and not one New York ball player showed up.  It was pretty disheartening for Bob's family to know that there were more Yankees at Robert E. Lee's funeral.

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There sure are a lot of people who are skeptical of President Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Wait until they see who the favorite is to win next year's Peace Prize: the arbitrator in the Jon & Kate divorce.


Republican Senator Olympia Snow has announced that will she vote for the Health Care Reform Bill. Democrats are so happy about this that they've started referring to the Health Care Bill as The Snow Job.