Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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For only $300, you can download the entire archives of Playboy magazine.  And guys,  if you act now, they'll send you a lovely red smoking jacket, a pipe,  and three blow-up dolls.

Sri Daya Mata, a popular Hindu leader in this country, has died at the age of 96.  Sri was a strong advocate of meditation.  Unfortunately for the undertaker, rigor mortis set in while Sri was in the lotus position.

Republican lawmakers in Washington are stirring up trouble for Obama and the Democrats.  They say that if the wealthy can't have a tax cut, nobody can have a tax cut.  Our congressmen act so much like children, that's why their breaks are called recess.



President Obama is in Afghanistan today, but rough weather forced him to cancel a face-to-face meeting with Afghani leader Karzai.  Technically, a meeting with Karzai is face-to-face-to-face.


Christine O'Donnell announced that she has landed a book deal.  She can check out up to a dozen at a time just by showing the librarian her card. 




She says her book will deal with her frustrations with the political process.  Like how you need to get the most votes to win.


Christine O'Donnell's book is the inside story of her political campaign.  I understand the title will be "Wicca Leaks".


Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg will appear on CBS' 60 Minutes this weekend.  During the course of the show, CBS will tell you which button on your remote to click if you like it.

Speaking of CBS, the network fired Harry Smith as the anchor of its "Early Show".  This was due to low ratings.  Nobody wanted to see Harry in his pajamas scratching himself.



.....thanks for reading and enjoy the weekend!

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Today's Monologue Jokes by Wendel Potter

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George W. Bush's memoir, Decision Points, will be out in November.  The book  focuses on the twelve toughest decisions made during Bush's presidency....and the points at which Dick Cheney made them.




The Health Minister of Brazil is urging people in his country to have more sex as a way of keeping their blood pressure down:

....Billboards are going up all over the country,  featuring Larry the Cable Guy telling Brazilians to "Git 'er done!"  (Actually, in Brazil, Larry says:  "Lograr que se haga!")


....Tiger Woods heard about this and immediately entered the Rio deJaniero Open.




Speaking of our health, have you tried KFC's new Double Down Sandwich?  It's made with two chicken breasts wrapped in two slices of bacon, with two slices of Pepper Jack cheese and "the colonel's special sauce". They say there's no room for a bun.  I guarantee you, after you eat all that,  you'll find the room to squeeze it between two buns.

 

CBS' 60 Minutes will air an interview with Conan O'Brien on Sunday evening.  Conan's segment was scheduled to be the first of the three stories aired on the program, but he's now been bumped to third.



Hugh Hefner has donated a million dollars to save the famed Hollywood sign from  being demolished.  Actually, the sign is in such disrepair,  Heffner's million is being used to buy three vowels.

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