Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Egyptian President Mubarak has announced that he has no plans of stepping down.  He says he'll step on and step over, but not step down.

There's still a plan in place for the transition of power from Mubarak to his vice president.  See, that's why George W. Bush never had these kinds of problems.  He handed over the reigns to Dick Cheney immediately after the inauguration. 

Last night, Barack Obama said he is getting impatient with Mubarak's failure to hand over his power.  Obama was so upset, he went through three packs of Nicorette in an hour.

Arizona is suing the U.S. government.  The charge is that Washington has failed to protect Arizona from an invasion of illegal immigrants.  That is so lame! Illegal immigrants enter a state to find jobs.  And we all know that Washington hasn't done anything to create jobs in Arizona or anywhere else in the country!

Congressman Chris Lee from New York has quit after it was reported that the married congressman sent a shirtless photo of himself to a woman whose Craigslist ad he answered.  See, I don't think he should have resigned.  We need a congressman who's willing to give constituents the shirt off his back.

The picture that surfaced was of Lee standing in front of a mirror with his shirt off.  Apparently the woman he sent it to still has a dial up connection and the picture never finished loading.

Paris Hilton says she is freaking out about turning 30.  She's afraid her head will explode if her IQ ever actually gets that high.

Lindsay Lohan has been arraigned on grand felony theft charges for stealing a $2500 necklace.  Well, like I always say, Give them enough necklace and they'll eventually hang themselves.

Arnold Schwarzenegger says he is returning to the movies.  He plans to see Gnomeo and Juliet on Saturday.

In his 23rd season, Utah Jazz head coach Jerry Sloan has stepped down.  The Jazz currently holds a 31-23 record.  Cleveland is thinking, "Hey, he's only lost 23 this year!  Let's hire him!"

The Cleveland Cavaliers have now lost 26 games in a row. In their home arena, they're having more trouble filling seats in the house than the Democrats did in last November's election.

26 games in a row!  See!  The Cavs are quite capable of setting records without Lebron James.

Did you read this?  A study says that eggs now have less cholesterol than they did 10 years ago.  That's the good news.  The bad news is that you can't buy good chicken livers anymore because they've been damaged by all that Lipitor.

.....Happy Friday and thanks for stopping by!

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