Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

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Well, millions of Americans could lose their jobless benefits if Congress doesn't act quickly to extend unemployment compensation.  An attempt to pass another extension has been slowed due to partisan conflicts in the Senate.  When a decision is made whether or not to extend the aid to America's unemployed, it will be announced live on ESPN.

Iran's women's soccer team might not compete in the 2010 Youth Olympics because their uniforms, which include the hejab--or headscarf--violates the dress code set forth by FIFA, the soccer governing body.  FIFA is trying to avoid a FCC fine in the event of a wardrobe malfunction.

Don Imus is in trouble again.  He referred to the Iranian women's soccer team as a bunch of hejab-headed hoes.

The Iranian men's soccer uniforms are fine.  Their problem is staying focused.  Every time they hear those vuvuzela horns, they leave the field and rush off to a mosque to pray.

Now that the World Cup is over I'm thinking that those vuvuzela horns weren't nearly as annoying as Mel Gibson's phone calls to his ex-girlfriend.


Have you heard those tapes of Mel's calls to Oksana?  He sounds like a panting, slobbering, raging maniac.  I guess he was using the new iPhone4 and it kept dropping his call. 



We knew it was really Mel spewing those death threats over the phone.  Verizon traced the tarballs to his house.

 


If BP has success with their new oil well cap, they're going to use one just like it to put over Mel Gibson's mouth.




The word this morning is that Mel Gibson is in therapy.  And he's already knocked out two of his therapist's teeth.



On ABC's The View this week, Whoopi Goldberg defended Mel Gibson, insisting he's not a racist.  She says if Mel's truly racist, his Passion of the Christ movie would have had Jesus killed by a pack of n*gg*rs.




The LA police might investigate this Mel-Oksana incident.  If he's charged with making death threats, he'll be put on probation and be forced to wear an ankle SCRAM bracelet that records the number of times he says the N-word.


Thanks for reading.  Please check out my columns at www.wendelpotter.com

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