Today's Monologue Jokes by Wendel Potter

David Brown, the producer of the movie Jaws, has passed away.  Mr. Brown will be buried at sea in a large gray casket fitted with a giant dorsal fin.


Another Hollywood film notable passed away.  Last week, we lost  Zelda Rubinstein, the tiny actress who portrayed the clairvoyant in Poltergeist.  Ms. Rubinstein, only 4' 3" tall, was also a life long advocate for "little people".  Her posthumous memoir will soon be released.  It's called "Sell Yourself Short".



Michael Jackson's physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, says that he will surrender to authorities if charges are filed against him.  He met with his defense team and simply told the lawyers, "This is it."


The Obama administration wants to cut back on border security which means that now illegal aliens won't feel as secure when they cross our borders.



With the Olympics being held in Vancouver, Homeland Security is spending two million dollars on a campaign to inform people in the U.S. about new identification requirements to cross the border into Canada.  The campaign's slogan is "Border Security....a new and exciting concept".


Look at the money we're saving. We have the Canadians watching our northern border while Sarah Palin keeps an eye on the Russians.