Today's Monologue Jokes by Wendel Potter

NBC confirmed that it's finally sealed a deal with Conan O'Brien for the comedian to leave the network after seven months of guest hosting the Tonight Show.


Okay, enough already about the problems at NBC! At least that's what NBC chief Jeff Zucker says.


A study shows that sitting for long periods is unhealthy and can even lead to death. Now there's a strong argument for term limits.


So according to health experts, sitting down for long periods of time can be deadly. See, this is why Jay Leno does such a long monologue. He'd rather bomb standing up than die sitting down.


Cindy McCain, wife of Senator John McCain, has posed for photos for ads that endorse gay marriage. Senator McCain, who opposes gay marriage, says that he respects his wife's position but really wishes she'd stop referring to him as "my old lesbian husband".


Actually, John McCain believes that marriage should be defined as a union between a man and a woman....and that the woman should first be properly vetted.


Michelle Obama is taking the lead in a campaign to fight obesity in children. The program is called Kids Kounting Kalories, or for short, KKK.



Bill Gates is now on Twitter. So far, in answer to the Twitter question, "What are you doing?", Gates has posted over 100 tweets and they all say the same thing: "making money hand over fist".


On Tuesday, Republican Scott Brown was voted in as the new Massachusetts senator, taking the late Ted Kennedy's seat in the Senate. You know, his opponent Martha Coakley never really stood a chance. Even her name is all wrong. Martha Coakley sounds like someone who should have her own cooking show on some local TV station in South Dakota.



Scott Brown, who's been elected to fill Ted Kennedy's senate seat, admits that he posed nearly nude for Cosmopolitan magazine back in 1982. He says he did it for the money, to help pay his way through school. All I can say is, thank God that Ted Kennedy came from a wealthy family.