Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter

Leno moving to 11:30. Conan threatening to quit. Fallon moving to 1:05. Carson Daly out of a job. Late night life was a lot easier when NBC stood for "Nobody But Carson".


This just in: Conan O'Brien has been offered a lucrative spokesperson job. If he accepts, his image will be used as the new mascot for the Big Boy Restaurant chain.


NBC offered Conan O'Brien a new deal, but he turned them down. The network was willing to give him a bedroom above the studio and his choice of female staff members.


NBC's idea was to give Leno a half hour, followed by an hour of Conan, and then an hour of Jimmy Fallon. They had planned to bill it as "Two and a Half Shows".


NBC knew it was in trouble when Harry Reid commented that the colors on the NBC peacock seemed to be awfully light.


Monday is Martin Luther King Day and most federal employees have that day off. I know Harry Reid's been looking forward to it. He has that day lightly colored on his calendar.


Pat Robertson says that the earthquake in Haiti is God's punishment for the evil works of the Haitian people. If that's true, NBC executives don't have to worry about shaking up the network's schedule. They can let nature take its course.


Pope Benedict met with the woman who knocked him down on Christmas Eve. Not only did he forgive her, but he presented her with the quilt she won in the Vatican Christmas raffle.