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I think we should be able to buy paper with two little staple holes already punched out in the corner.
Well, I just downloaded a new ringtone for my phone. It's really cool. It sounds just like Mel Gibson yelling, "YOU F***ING F***! YOU BETTER ANSWER YOUR F****** PHONE NOW OR I'M GOING TO COME OVER THERE AND KNOCK YOUR F****** TEETH OUT OF YOUR F****** HEAD!"
Well, I just downloaded a new ringtone for my phone. It's really cool. It sounds just like Mel Gibson yelling, "YOU F***ING F***! YOU BETTER ANSWER YOUR F****** PHONE NOW OR I'M GOING TO COME OVER THERE AND KNOCK YOUR F****** TEETH OUT OF YOUR F****** HEAD!"
Lindsay Lohan has been moved to solitary confinement because inmates are sick of listening to her. One convict said that she lies there shivering and wailing and covering her face with her hands. Good for Lindsay! Sounds like she's finally getting the booze out of her system.
So they've moved Lindsay to solitary because the other inmates were complaining. That might be the only jail where the prisoners mark the days until somebody else gets out.
A new medical report says that open heart surgery can affect your taste buds. This must be true. Years ago, my dad had bypass surgery and he said after that Eggbeaters just never tasted the same.
Barbara Walters had open heart surgery. She returns to The View this week. Let's see if she still has the same taste for the jugular.
If heart surgery really does affect taste buds, maybe Elizabeth Hasselbeck will finally leave a bad taste in Barbara Walters' mouth.
Arizona's new immigration law takes effect on Thursday. Mexico doesn't know what to do if there's a huge influx of deportees. They say they wouldn't have this problem if the United States would stop farming out all of Mexico's jobs to China and India.
Rumor has it that TLC is filming an episode of Kate Plus 8 that features Kate and the kids going camping in Alaska with Sarah Palin. In Part 1, Aunt Sarah teaches the Gosselin girls how to throw a real tea party.
Sarah Palin was given a list of the Gosselin children's names: Cara, Mady, Alexis, Hannah, Joel, Leah, Aaden, and Collin. She said, "What kind of mother would give her kids weird names like these?"
Barbara Walters had open heart surgery. She returns to The View this week. Let's see if she still has the same taste for the jugular.
If heart surgery really does affect taste buds, maybe Elizabeth Hasselbeck will finally leave a bad taste in Barbara Walters' mouth.
Arizona's new immigration law takes effect on Thursday. Mexico doesn't know what to do if there's a huge influx of deportees. They say they wouldn't have this problem if the United States would stop farming out all of Mexico's jobs to China and India.
Rumor has it that TLC is filming an episode of Kate Plus 8 that features Kate and the kids going camping in Alaska with Sarah Palin. In Part 1, Aunt Sarah teaches the Gosselin girls how to throw a real tea party.
Sarah Palin was given a list of the Gosselin children's names: Cara, Mady, Alexis, Hannah, Joel, Leah, Aaden, and Collin. She said, "What kind of mother would give her kids weird names like these?"
The NFL preseason opens in just two weeks. My wife's not too excited. She doesn't like football. She says football starts way too early....and she thinks no team should wear white after Labor Day.
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