Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Today's Jokes by Wendel Potter


President Obama's State of the Union Address drew a huge response...."What's on HBO?"

Last night,  President Obama was in top form.  His speeches are like a two-speed blender....either stirring or grating.

The president has really grown, really fleshed out as a public speakerAs a matter of fact, not once did anyone in the audience put on their 3-D glasses.

Well, Benedict XVI celebrated his last Ash Wednesday as the reigning pope.  You could tell his   heart wasn't in it.  Twice during the service he referred to the holy day as Half-Ash Wednesday.

Some Catholic churches now offer drive up ashes.  They had that 40 years ago.  It was called rear-ending a Pinto.

There's one church I heard about has three windows.  You drive up to the first one and make your confession, then you go to the second one and get your ashes.  By the time you pull up to the third window, your fish sandwich is ready.

Lady GaGa has canceled all the shows on her tour for the next week because she's sick.  She'll now be known as Lady GagGag.

Comedian/actor Steve Martin has become a father for the first time.  Steve is 67.  Next week, the baby will receive an honorary high school diploma so Steve can be sure to attend the kid's graduation.

Someone hacked into a TV station broadcast and warned Montana viewers that they were under attack by zombies.  Of course the joke was on the hacker because nobody in Montana owns a TV.

....thanks for reading!


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